Sooo i lovee sleepingg ! but its SOOO HARDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!
I have sleeping problems. im about to tell you about them so if you dont care , stop reading.
It takes me about 2 hours to actually fall asleep , it can be completely dark and not a sound in the room and nothing botherng me but i still wont be able to sleep i have nooo idea why. I get liek super long charlie hprses that last anwwhere from 30 seconds to 20 minutes and they are horrible horrible pains liek you have no idea how bad they hurt i cry every time after they happen. I dont know why i get these pains either. When i do get them it feels like i cant move my legs at all and if i do they will snap off or something but then at the same time the only way to get rid of it is to move my legs and OMFG does it hurts ! I want to scream and freak out everytime but when they happen its like i loose my voice completly and cant scream like i dont even try , but i want to sooo badd !! I also get extremly scared at night because well its dark and millions of bad things happen in the dark and i get very scared something or someone will get me. I need someone that can sleep with me everynight to keep me safe so i dont have to worry abny more and sleep under the covers. This sounds rediculous and crazy chuldish but yeah i do still think there are mosters under my bed and i beilive every bit of it. About once a month i will wake up in the middle of the night anywhere from 2-5 am with an super incredilbe horrible headache where i cant move or rest my head on a pillow or open my eyes becase the pain is so bad , and all i can do is sit up and lean against the cold wall untill i fall alseep again . So these are a few of my many sleeping problems. Well i hope that you will atleast have a better sleep than i will :)
Monday, February 21, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Its morning,
I love my boyfriend <3 .
I dont really have anything in particular to blog about.
Today i didnt really do a whole lot i slept in till like 11 or 12 i can remeber than cleaned my room and all ofter noon i played qwii fit and rock band with a friend of mine and the walked around town for an hour or so then went for a nice cruise with a friend . Im not really looking ofrward tomorrow yet i am , i have to work tomorrowbut its only for four hours so ill survive , we have new shirts to wear this month and well atleast they are better than the green ones the ones we have to wear know are black yellow and orange kinda weird looking but im okay with this. Monday is a holiday , thank goshh i cant wait, not that i have any plans or anything but im sure i will find something to do. Ive been working out a lot lately and i love it becuase when im fisnished working out i feel so happy and proud of myself and jsut overall goodness but it does make my body hurt cause like two days ago i thought i broke my armpit but it turns out thats kind of impossible :P who would of known . and now my lower legs hurt but its all for the best :). Im currently drinking water with a straw and there is lipstick all over the straw now and no longer remaing on my lips. I will be glad to tell you that i havnt cut myself in almost a week :). My nails need to be repainted. Here are some things about mee...
TEN THINGS ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE
1. I dont really believe in love at first sight.
2. I do believe in soul mates.
4. I have been strongly hurt emotionally by love before.
5. Ive broken someones heart before and it feels terrible :(
7.I have liked someone and never had the courage to tell them
8. Im not afraid of commitment.
9. The last person i said i love you to was i think my mother or father.
10. Im in love with the most amazing man.
I would much rather have happiness than money any day. I prefer the nighttime to day time most offen. I have been skinny dipping before. I have never finished a large jawbreaker before, but i am wokring on one at he moment. I have a pet fish once for 2 days and yes i did cry when it died. Ive tried running away from home more than 12 times. The last person i called on my cell phone was my boyfriend. The last person to sleep beisde me in my bed would be Ashley. I dont like crying infront of people and can even remeber the last time i did , i prefer to cry alone becusae otherwise people jsut ask millions of questions and make it worse id rather jsut have somone put there arm around me and understand whithout asking. I would rather have two best friends that 10 acqaintances. I almost always drink milk before i go to bed. I cannot raise one eyebrow. I dislike my sheets and blankets being tucked in and i dont like sleeping with the top sheet on , i also sleep under the covers becuase im terrifed of what will get me , yeah i relize blankets arnt much protection but its better than nothing. I am a veryyy picky eater, and i eat very few meats. Right now im wearing penguin pajams pants with a hoel in the knee that i got during an intese guitar solo sliding across the floor.
I dont really have anything in particular to blog about.
Today i didnt really do a whole lot i slept in till like 11 or 12 i can remeber than cleaned my room and all ofter noon i played qwii fit and rock band with a friend of mine and the walked around town for an hour or so then went for a nice cruise with a friend . Im not really looking ofrward tomorrow yet i am , i have to work tomorrowbut its only for four hours so ill survive , we have new shirts to wear this month and well atleast they are better than the green ones the ones we have to wear know are black yellow and orange kinda weird looking but im okay with this. Monday is a holiday , thank goshh i cant wait, not that i have any plans or anything but im sure i will find something to do. Ive been working out a lot lately and i love it becuase when im fisnished working out i feel so happy and proud of myself and jsut overall goodness but it does make my body hurt cause like two days ago i thought i broke my armpit but it turns out thats kind of impossible :P who would of known . and now my lower legs hurt but its all for the best :). Im currently drinking water with a straw and there is lipstick all over the straw now and no longer remaing on my lips. I will be glad to tell you that i havnt cut myself in almost a week :). My nails need to be repainted. Here are some things about mee...
TEN THINGS ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE
1. I dont really believe in love at first sight.
2. I do believe in soul mates.
4. I have been strongly hurt emotionally by love before.
5. Ive broken someones heart before and it feels terrible :(
7.I have liked someone and never had the courage to tell them
8. Im not afraid of commitment.
9. The last person i said i love you to was i think my mother or father.
10. Im in love with the most amazing man.
I would much rather have happiness than money any day. I prefer the nighttime to day time most offen. I have been skinny dipping before. I have never finished a large jawbreaker before, but i am wokring on one at he moment. I have a pet fish once for 2 days and yes i did cry when it died. Ive tried running away from home more than 12 times. The last person i called on my cell phone was my boyfriend. The last person to sleep beisde me in my bed would be Ashley. I dont like crying infront of people and can even remeber the last time i did , i prefer to cry alone becusae otherwise people jsut ask millions of questions and make it worse id rather jsut have somone put there arm around me and understand whithout asking. I would rather have two best friends that 10 acqaintances. I almost always drink milk before i go to bed. I cannot raise one eyebrow. I dislike my sheets and blankets being tucked in and i dont like sleeping with the top sheet on , i also sleep under the covers becuase im terrifed of what will get me , yeah i relize blankets arnt much protection but its better than nothing. I am a veryyy picky eater, and i eat very few meats. Right now im wearing penguin pajams pants with a hoel in the knee that i got during an intese guitar solo sliding across the floor.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
:'(
This photo is absoululty horrify and scares me everytime i see it.
" PULITZER PRIZE " winning photo taken in 1994 during the Sudan famine.
The picture depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards an United Nations food camp, located a kilometer away.
The vulture is waiting for the child to die so that it can eat it. This picture shocked the whole world. No one knows what happened to the child, including the photographer Kevin Carter who left the place as soon as the photograph was taken.
Three months later he committed suicide due to depression.
Love.
Love is the best thing that has happened to me.
I love this one boy , named cody bell. Okay so hes not just any boy, hes the most amazing one EVER!
What is love ? Is one of the most diffucult questions for mankind.
For me love was friendship set on fire. It started with an amazing friendship and bestfriend and led to an even better relationsip and boyfriend. Love gives you a feeling you just cant discribe well enough no matter how i type it or how you reead it , it will be no where close to how i feel it. Its about careing so deeply about someone and wanting to spend everymoment of your life with them and never letting go. Love is detticating your heart and soul into the person you love.
It's to be said that your heart is the size of your fist. It may physically be that size , but its deffinelty not emotionally. I once thought that i was in love with my friend Dan last year , boy was i wrongg. I really thought what i was feeling was love and it jsut may of been , just a different kind. This love , the love that i feel every second of the day , every heart beat, every pulse is l-o-v-e , it cant be said any more clearer than that. This is really true love. They say you will never forget your first love that you will always think about it even after its happend and you have moved on, i wont ever forget becuase i plan on this , my first love , being my first and only love.
Valentines day.
I used to think that it was jsut an excuse for stores to get more money, and that it was pointless. Now , well its starting to mean something to me. Yes , i still think its not really a holiday and thats its kinda dumb becase i think that you should be showing your love for everyone everyday. But im getting in the spirit of it all :) i still dislike it though.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
You cant help me,
I just sneezed , and thankfully im not oging to go tel hell :) also cant you see im a good typer today :P
I hatee my hair so much.
I also dislike when a door is closed and soeone comes in then leaves and LEAVES IT OPEN !
I wish it was summer so i could go to the beach and go swimming and tan , get none of my friends like going to the beach so well it rarely ahppens and i usally end up laying on my trampoline with the sprinkler under it, yeah lame i knoww.
The marks on my wrist are almost all gonee.
I now take five pills a day.
I hate fashion.
I love those hard candy hearts , theres also another hard thing i like but i wont speak of that ;)
I love how my boyfriend can see me at my worst and still love me.
Today i slept till 2 in the afternoon.
I wish i wasnt put down as much as i am.
Its shouldnt be called backtalking or bitching , when your standing up for yourself.
My back realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hurtsssss!
I was recently asked to prom by a friend.
How do my bobbypins always disapear ?
I really have nothing to write about at all.
My back still hurts.
I smell really good right now.
I Still sleep with a teddy bear , many of them.
If i was put in a forest and didn't know where i was and had limited things , the first thing i would die of would be being alone, i would die of this way before starvation if i only had one can of food , or beaing eaten by a bear. It would still be loneyless. My absoulutle worst fear is being alone , you have no idea how much it terrify me every moment. I live liveing in fear. Im not scared of the dark , im scared of things in the dark , liek creatures and people , mainly when my mind runs wild.
Im scared of my imagination.
I hatee my hair so much.
I also dislike when a door is closed and soeone comes in then leaves and LEAVES IT OPEN !
I wish it was summer so i could go to the beach and go swimming and tan , get none of my friends like going to the beach so well it rarely ahppens and i usally end up laying on my trampoline with the sprinkler under it, yeah lame i knoww.
The marks on my wrist are almost all gonee.
I now take five pills a day.
I hate fashion.
I love those hard candy hearts , theres also another hard thing i like but i wont speak of that ;)
I love how my boyfriend can see me at my worst and still love me.
Today i slept till 2 in the afternoon.
I wish i wasnt put down as much as i am.
Its shouldnt be called backtalking or bitching , when your standing up for yourself.
My back realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hurtsssss!
I was recently asked to prom by a friend.
How do my bobbypins always disapear ?
I really have nothing to write about at all.
My back still hurts.
I smell really good right now.
I Still sleep with a teddy bear , many of them.
If i was put in a forest and didn't know where i was and had limited things , the first thing i would die of would be being alone, i would die of this way before starvation if i only had one can of food , or beaing eaten by a bear. It would still be loneyless. My absoulutle worst fear is being alone , you have no idea how much it terrify me every moment. I live liveing in fear. Im not scared of the dark , im scared of things in the dark , liek creatures and people , mainly when my mind runs wild.
Im scared of my imagination.
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