I know im blog about him alot , but really hes what i think of the most so thats what always comes to mind when i want to blog.
So this weekend i spent it with him at his house.. may i mention it was the best weekend of my life! Yes the best of the best of the best.
There are some things i would like to write about on here but i know there are some people that read this that dont need to know about certain things.
This past weekend was without a doubt the best one that i have had. why? because i got to spend every of the day .. and night! with my loving husband! okay well not husband yet but , i know he will be some day :) I never new how lonely i was at night until i did sleep with the man i love , than had to go back to sleeping alone , that's when i realized how lonely you really can get. The weekend had a lot of "firsts" for me and well not that i have done some of the things before but they defiantly where the best i will ever get becasuse as i said before , i will be marrying this man of mine, yeah mine , not yours. You wish you could have him becuase he is the most sincere caring person you will ever meet but hes mine so your out of luck .
Cody bell , where do i start with him ?
Well he is the most incredible thing that has ever come into my life and i will never let him walk out even if he trys his hardest but hopefull he never will * fingers crossed*. He treats me like im a princess , like royalty, like im the only girl he knows. Its jsut an amazing feeling in the world to know he is someone that cares about me and for me , knowing i can depend on someone the alwasy be there for me and i have someone to tell things to and wont be judged for it. I could write about all the nice things he has done and continmues to do every minute, but i would be writing till the day i dye.
I Hope that every beautiful woman out there gets a chance to experience love the way i have, yes there is heart break and lots of tears and fights, but its worth it , becuase all of the other times you spend together will be much more better you wont be able to desribe them to people and when you try they wont be able to understand , maybe you cant even understand it your self. Just remeber , there are people out there that will love you if you give them the right chance.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
I dont have anything to write about.
Im in design class right now , but im not doing deisgn im acutally working on my health project ... kinda. Ii gave up on that.
Todays kinda of been a but of a shitty day , i got two more detentios, then i burnt my grill cheese at lunch , and then i walked to the Y and my feet go so extremly soaked and there was giant humoungous puddles in my boots, so i had to work out in soaked socks and well they are still very very wet and it feels really gross.
I wish i coudl wear jogging pants and pajams pants everythwere i go becuase they are so comfy and make me happy when i wear them , but if i where to wear them in public i would most likely get strange looks and be jugded harddd. But mehh ive done it before and it was fine but if i started dsoing it all the time peiople would probaly think i was a bum.
Im reallyyy cold right now , i am always cold btu since im also wet right now its even colder. I was sitting in detention today and my skin went liek crazyy white then a werid purple and ive never seen it do that before and it was cool exept its probly not good. My roots are showing in my hair , you can now see liek an unch of my hair colour you cant notice though unless i where to tell you and shove the top of my head right infront of your eyes, im not sure if i should die it again or jsut wait till it starts getting really sunny out beuase the sun like pratcially dyes my hair , my hair always gets liek super white/blonde in the summer. Its kinda of embarssing when i get sunburt becuase then all you see is my ahir and my eyebrows look redicilous becuase they end up standing out hard core.
I have to work tonight 4-9 its a decent shift, i kinda like going to work becuase then it gets me away from home, except for the times i work at the same time as my mother then is a pain but other than that is allright.
I currently have two nails un pianted on my left hand because i fucked them up and took of the nail polish cause it looks like shit and then before i got to fix em i fell asleep :P. I have learned that i love taking naps after school :).
Im going to purchase a Y member ship soon becuase its WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY cheaper then paying everytmime i go , i jsut dont know if i can afford another thing to pay for every month , but we will see how it goes. I love love love love loveee working out so much! Once i start i cant stop it makes me feel so good and happy ! Ive actually lost weight recently 4lbs! i know its not much but my mom , ashley , and kelly noticed :). But ill probs gain in back so easily.
I dont really have any actually life dramas right now. Well besides my whole HUGE boyfriend issues ive been having but i think they will go away, i think im jsut over thinking stuff to much :). so it will be perfecttly fine soon enough.
right now i have a giant massive huge cramp in my sides, probs caue all ive ate today was a grill cheese then did a huge work out but meh thats fine. I need a drink , im really thirsty. I would get a drink from the foutain but in science class we swabbed it and but it in a container and well it grew mold , so i think i can wiat till i get home to drink some water :).
Im in design class right now , but im not doing deisgn im acutally working on my health project ... kinda. Ii gave up on that.
Todays kinda of been a but of a shitty day , i got two more detentios, then i burnt my grill cheese at lunch , and then i walked to the Y and my feet go so extremly soaked and there was giant humoungous puddles in my boots, so i had to work out in soaked socks and well they are still very very wet and it feels really gross.
I wish i coudl wear jogging pants and pajams pants everythwere i go becuase they are so comfy and make me happy when i wear them , but if i where to wear them in public i would most likely get strange looks and be jugded harddd. But mehh ive done it before and it was fine but if i started dsoing it all the time peiople would probaly think i was a bum.
Im reallyyy cold right now , i am always cold btu since im also wet right now its even colder. I was sitting in detention today and my skin went liek crazyy white then a werid purple and ive never seen it do that before and it was cool exept its probly not good. My roots are showing in my hair , you can now see liek an unch of my hair colour you cant notice though unless i where to tell you and shove the top of my head right infront of your eyes, im not sure if i should die it again or jsut wait till it starts getting really sunny out beuase the sun like pratcially dyes my hair , my hair always gets liek super white/blonde in the summer. Its kinda of embarssing when i get sunburt becuase then all you see is my ahir and my eyebrows look redicilous becuase they end up standing out hard core.
I have to work tonight 4-9 its a decent shift, i kinda like going to work becuase then it gets me away from home, except for the times i work at the same time as my mother then is a pain but other than that is allright.
I currently have two nails un pianted on my left hand because i fucked them up and took of the nail polish cause it looks like shit and then before i got to fix em i fell asleep :P. I have learned that i love taking naps after school :).
Im going to purchase a Y member ship soon becuase its WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY cheaper then paying everytmime i go , i jsut dont know if i can afford another thing to pay for every month , but we will see how it goes. I love love love love loveee working out so much! Once i start i cant stop it makes me feel so good and happy ! Ive actually lost weight recently 4lbs! i know its not much but my mom , ashley , and kelly noticed :). But ill probs gain in back so easily.
I dont really have any actually life dramas right now. Well besides my whole HUGE boyfriend issues ive been having but i think they will go away, i think im jsut over thinking stuff to much :). so it will be perfecttly fine soon enough.
right now i have a giant massive huge cramp in my sides, probs caue all ive ate today was a grill cheese then did a huge work out but meh thats fine. I need a drink , im really thirsty. I would get a drink from the foutain but in science class we swabbed it and but it in a container and well it grew mold , so i think i can wiat till i get home to drink some water :).
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXHTpI0-9Ek&feature=fvst
Good song^.
Ive deicded to make a bucket list.
1. Kiss the boyfriend.
2. Be happy with the way i look.
3. Create a beautiful garden.
4. Photograph lightning.
5. Pick fruit at a fruit farm.
6. Skinny dip.
7. Get a tattoo.
8.Donate blood.
9. Get my lisence.
10. Achieve my ideal weight.
11. Go on a road trip , no where in particular jsut get into a car and start driving.
12. Bake a cake for someone special.
13. Do a successful cartwheel.
14. Learn sign language.
Good song^.
Ive deicded to make a bucket list.
1. Kiss the boyfriend.
2. Be happy with the way i look.
3. Create a beautiful garden.
4. Photograph lightning.
5. Pick fruit at a fruit farm.
6. Skinny dip.
7. Get a tattoo.
8.Donate blood.
9. Get my lisence.
10. Achieve my ideal weight.
11. Go on a road trip , no where in particular jsut get into a car and start driving.
12. Bake a cake for someone special.
13. Do a successful cartwheel.
14. Learn sign language.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Oppostites attract.
This week at my school it is Valhalla week :) and this is what is happening
Monday : assembly with hympotist ( which was amazzinggggggggggggggggg! )
Tuesday : wear your v-wear
Wednesday: Jereey day , you wear your favourite sprts jersery or favoutire team , and obstacle coursse and lunch.
Thursday: Blue and white day where you obviously wear blue and white , and mystery food eating contest at lunch
Friday : Pajama day and egg toss
The week is much moer enjoyabel if you actually particapate :)
I wil now list some of my pet peeves for you :
spolied sports
slow walkers
people who complain about other poeple
people who chew gum like horses
tja zvsaaaaaaaq`1
yes thhat was the resutl of me dropping the keyboad and catching it.
and yes jenna is reading everything i am typeing and staring at the screen the whoel time i do this.
STOP IT !
now back to the pet peeves..
jenna-lee
when you find an article of cltohing you really like but your size is GONE! :@
when you want frozen yogurt and dont have any
when your socks are wet and you think they are gouing to dry so you jsut leave them on but they never dry and end up makeing your feet really cold
NAIR ! that shit burns your leggs!
my mother when she opnes her mouth !
when your fotn gets bigger even when you didnt change it , which just happned!
when people judge you about things when they are no better
when your hungry and have no food
having to wake up for school only to find out you will be doing nothign all day
walking to school to find out its a snow day
jenna - lee sweater that makes her look like a sheep :)
people who can sit at their computer and play solitar for hours. omg like how do you even understand that gome ?!
Monday : assembly with hympotist ( which was amazzinggggggggggggggggg! )
Tuesday : wear your v-wear
Wednesday: Jereey day , you wear your favourite sprts jersery or favoutire team , and obstacle coursse and lunch.
Thursday: Blue and white day where you obviously wear blue and white , and mystery food eating contest at lunch
Friday : Pajama day and egg toss
The week is much moer enjoyabel if you actually particapate :)
I wil now list some of my pet peeves for you :
spolied sports
slow walkers
people who complain about other poeple
people who chew gum like horses
tja zvsaaaaaaaq`1
yes thhat was the resutl of me dropping the keyboad and catching it.
and yes jenna is reading everything i am typeing and staring at the screen the whoel time i do this.
STOP IT !
now back to the pet peeves..
jenna-lee
when you find an article of cltohing you really like but your size is GONE! :@
when you want frozen yogurt and dont have any
when your socks are wet and you think they are gouing to dry so you jsut leave them on but they never dry and end up makeing your feet really cold
NAIR ! that shit burns your leggs!
my mother when she opnes her mouth !
when your fotn gets bigger even when you didnt change it , which just happned!
when people judge you about things when they are no better
when your hungry and have no food
having to wake up for school only to find out you will be doing nothign all day
walking to school to find out its a snow day
jenna - lee sweater that makes her look like a sheep :)
people who can sit at their computer and play solitar for hours. omg like how do you even understand that gome ?!
So, im in eglish class ovsiouly supposed to be doing enligsh but im not , becuase well the assignmetn is really pointless.
Yesterday was a very weird day , i fainted. I always feel like im about to faint but it had never happned untill yesterday, I always get a weird feeling and get really light headed and dizzy and have to hold onto something to keep my self still. To make matters worse this was at work and well there are usally quite a few people in a grocery store , and well they all where looking at me and it was erally awkward. Today i am feeling much better besides being cold , but i always am. My phone is breaking and i should really go in and get it fixed but i wouldnt know how or what to say and my dad dosnt think its bad enough to go in but nothing serious has happned yet so all is good. Today i plan on makeing pancakes for dinner becuase its pancake tuesday , no im not makeing this up , it really is you can google it if youd like. I need to paint my nails beucase right now they look really disgusting. I dont work today after school which is the first time in liek a week , and knwoing im free after school feels erally good.
I neeed a hobby , soemthing to keep me busy on my free time. Ive had many hobby before like , makeing braclets , playng sports , makeing crafts, buttt they all get boring after a while , i need a hobby that i know will keep me intersted . Right now im chewing bubble gum flavoured gum , stupidest name for a flavour everr! I have a realllyyy small mouth just to let you know. latly i have been getting this craving for rasberyy frozen yogurt . if you have never had it you better run to the closest place you can get it and eat it and you will relize how much you have been missing out on. I also feel like i need to be more risk taking and do things even if they are stupid, like i used to be able to go around up town and flash random cars, now if someone told me to do that i doubt i would do it, I need to become more of the old myra i was, i feel like ive become more of a serious person recently and im not likeing thiss.
Yesterday was a very weird day , i fainted. I always feel like im about to faint but it had never happned untill yesterday, I always get a weird feeling and get really light headed and dizzy and have to hold onto something to keep my self still. To make matters worse this was at work and well there are usally quite a few people in a grocery store , and well they all where looking at me and it was erally awkward. Today i am feeling much better besides being cold , but i always am. My phone is breaking and i should really go in and get it fixed but i wouldnt know how or what to say and my dad dosnt think its bad enough to go in but nothing serious has happned yet so all is good. Today i plan on makeing pancakes for dinner becuase its pancake tuesday , no im not makeing this up , it really is you can google it if youd like. I need to paint my nails beucase right now they look really disgusting. I dont work today after school which is the first time in liek a week , and knwoing im free after school feels erally good.
I neeed a hobby , soemthing to keep me busy on my free time. Ive had many hobby before like , makeing braclets , playng sports , makeing crafts, buttt they all get boring after a while , i need a hobby that i know will keep me intersted . Right now im chewing bubble gum flavoured gum , stupidest name for a flavour everr! I have a realllyyy small mouth just to let you know. latly i have been getting this craving for rasberyy frozen yogurt . if you have never had it you better run to the closest place you can get it and eat it and you will relize how much you have been missing out on. I also feel like i need to be more risk taking and do things even if they are stupid, like i used to be able to go around up town and flash random cars, now if someone told me to do that i doubt i would do it, I need to become more of the old myra i was, i feel like ive become more of a serious person recently and im not likeing thiss.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Im very very very very very very very very very very very COLD!
Just thought i would share this with youuu.
I managed to break my bra today.
I cant wait untill the weather warms up and gets really sunny so i can wear sunglasses and go swimming , i needed sunglasses today on my way to school but i thought i would look funny if i wore them in the winter since not many people do.
My foot is asleep , and i have to use the urination station.
I need to stop straighening my hair before i absoululty completly murder is and have to cut it short, and i really dont want short hair because mine is short enough as it is. My back really hurts likeee BADDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!
I should probaly go for a walk put now its really dark and scary out so i doubt i will but its still possible.
My jaw hurts alott , everytime i yawn it kilsss like im being shot and then shotting pains come alongg and kick me in the face! thank god im not an ant eating that has to like suck on the ground to get food becuase other wise id be doomed and die of starvation. Im fairly excited for the weekend besides that i have to work but thats not going to stop me from having a swell time.
Ha well i just got side tracked my baddd, i jsut watched a youtube video on some peopel humping balls on tv with jimmy k !
Just thought i would share this with youuu.
I managed to break my bra today.
I cant wait untill the weather warms up and gets really sunny so i can wear sunglasses and go swimming , i needed sunglasses today on my way to school but i thought i would look funny if i wore them in the winter since not many people do.
My foot is asleep , and i have to use the urination station.
I need to stop straighening my hair before i absoululty completly murder is and have to cut it short, and i really dont want short hair because mine is short enough as it is. My back really hurts likeee BADDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!
I should probaly go for a walk put now its really dark and scary out so i doubt i will but its still possible.
My jaw hurts alott , everytime i yawn it kilsss like im being shot and then shotting pains come alongg and kick me in the face! thank god im not an ant eating that has to like suck on the ground to get food becuase other wise id be doomed and die of starvation. Im fairly excited for the weekend besides that i have to work but thats not going to stop me from having a swell time.
Ha well i just got side tracked my baddd, i jsut watched a youtube video on some peopel humping balls on tv with jimmy k !
Monday, February 21, 2011
*~Sleeping~*
Sooo i lovee sleepingg ! but its SOOO HARDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!
I have sleeping problems. im about to tell you about them so if you dont care , stop reading.
It takes me about 2 hours to actually fall asleep , it can be completely dark and not a sound in the room and nothing botherng me but i still wont be able to sleep i have nooo idea why. I get liek super long charlie hprses that last anwwhere from 30 seconds to 20 minutes and they are horrible horrible pains liek you have no idea how bad they hurt i cry every time after they happen. I dont know why i get these pains either. When i do get them it feels like i cant move my legs at all and if i do they will snap off or something but then at the same time the only way to get rid of it is to move my legs and OMFG does it hurts ! I want to scream and freak out everytime but when they happen its like i loose my voice completly and cant scream like i dont even try , but i want to sooo badd !! I also get extremly scared at night because well its dark and millions of bad things happen in the dark and i get very scared something or someone will get me. I need someone that can sleep with me everynight to keep me safe so i dont have to worry abny more and sleep under the covers. This sounds rediculous and crazy chuldish but yeah i do still think there are mosters under my bed and i beilive every bit of it. About once a month i will wake up in the middle of the night anywhere from 2-5 am with an super incredilbe horrible headache where i cant move or rest my head on a pillow or open my eyes becase the pain is so bad , and all i can do is sit up and lean against the cold wall untill i fall alseep again . So these are a few of my many sleeping problems. Well i hope that you will atleast have a better sleep than i will :)
I have sleeping problems. im about to tell you about them so if you dont care , stop reading.
It takes me about 2 hours to actually fall asleep , it can be completely dark and not a sound in the room and nothing botherng me but i still wont be able to sleep i have nooo idea why. I get liek super long charlie hprses that last anwwhere from 30 seconds to 20 minutes and they are horrible horrible pains liek you have no idea how bad they hurt i cry every time after they happen. I dont know why i get these pains either. When i do get them it feels like i cant move my legs at all and if i do they will snap off or something but then at the same time the only way to get rid of it is to move my legs and OMFG does it hurts ! I want to scream and freak out everytime but when they happen its like i loose my voice completly and cant scream like i dont even try , but i want to sooo badd !! I also get extremly scared at night because well its dark and millions of bad things happen in the dark and i get very scared something or someone will get me. I need someone that can sleep with me everynight to keep me safe so i dont have to worry abny more and sleep under the covers. This sounds rediculous and crazy chuldish but yeah i do still think there are mosters under my bed and i beilive every bit of it. About once a month i will wake up in the middle of the night anywhere from 2-5 am with an super incredilbe horrible headache where i cant move or rest my head on a pillow or open my eyes becase the pain is so bad , and all i can do is sit up and lean against the cold wall untill i fall alseep again . So these are a few of my many sleeping problems. Well i hope that you will atleast have a better sleep than i will :)
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Its morning,
I love my boyfriend <3 .
I dont really have anything in particular to blog about.
Today i didnt really do a whole lot i slept in till like 11 or 12 i can remeber than cleaned my room and all ofter noon i played qwii fit and rock band with a friend of mine and the walked around town for an hour or so then went for a nice cruise with a friend . Im not really looking ofrward tomorrow yet i am , i have to work tomorrowbut its only for four hours so ill survive , we have new shirts to wear this month and well atleast they are better than the green ones the ones we have to wear know are black yellow and orange kinda weird looking but im okay with this. Monday is a holiday , thank goshh i cant wait, not that i have any plans or anything but im sure i will find something to do. Ive been working out a lot lately and i love it becuase when im fisnished working out i feel so happy and proud of myself and jsut overall goodness but it does make my body hurt cause like two days ago i thought i broke my armpit but it turns out thats kind of impossible :P who would of known . and now my lower legs hurt but its all for the best :). Im currently drinking water with a straw and there is lipstick all over the straw now and no longer remaing on my lips. I will be glad to tell you that i havnt cut myself in almost a week :). My nails need to be repainted. Here are some things about mee...
TEN THINGS ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE
1. I dont really believe in love at first sight.
2. I do believe in soul mates.
4. I have been strongly hurt emotionally by love before.
5. Ive broken someones heart before and it feels terrible :(
7.I have liked someone and never had the courage to tell them
8. Im not afraid of commitment.
9. The last person i said i love you to was i think my mother or father.
10. Im in love with the most amazing man.
I would much rather have happiness than money any day. I prefer the nighttime to day time most offen. I have been skinny dipping before. I have never finished a large jawbreaker before, but i am wokring on one at he moment. I have a pet fish once for 2 days and yes i did cry when it died. Ive tried running away from home more than 12 times. The last person i called on my cell phone was my boyfriend. The last person to sleep beisde me in my bed would be Ashley. I dont like crying infront of people and can even remeber the last time i did , i prefer to cry alone becusae otherwise people jsut ask millions of questions and make it worse id rather jsut have somone put there arm around me and understand whithout asking. I would rather have two best friends that 10 acqaintances. I almost always drink milk before i go to bed. I cannot raise one eyebrow. I dislike my sheets and blankets being tucked in and i dont like sleeping with the top sheet on , i also sleep under the covers becuase im terrifed of what will get me , yeah i relize blankets arnt much protection but its better than nothing. I am a veryyy picky eater, and i eat very few meats. Right now im wearing penguin pajams pants with a hoel in the knee that i got during an intese guitar solo sliding across the floor.
I dont really have anything in particular to blog about.
Today i didnt really do a whole lot i slept in till like 11 or 12 i can remeber than cleaned my room and all ofter noon i played qwii fit and rock band with a friend of mine and the walked around town for an hour or so then went for a nice cruise with a friend . Im not really looking ofrward tomorrow yet i am , i have to work tomorrowbut its only for four hours so ill survive , we have new shirts to wear this month and well atleast they are better than the green ones the ones we have to wear know are black yellow and orange kinda weird looking but im okay with this. Monday is a holiday , thank goshh i cant wait, not that i have any plans or anything but im sure i will find something to do. Ive been working out a lot lately and i love it becuase when im fisnished working out i feel so happy and proud of myself and jsut overall goodness but it does make my body hurt cause like two days ago i thought i broke my armpit but it turns out thats kind of impossible :P who would of known . and now my lower legs hurt but its all for the best :). Im currently drinking water with a straw and there is lipstick all over the straw now and no longer remaing on my lips. I will be glad to tell you that i havnt cut myself in almost a week :). My nails need to be repainted. Here are some things about mee...
TEN THINGS ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE
1. I dont really believe in love at first sight.
2. I do believe in soul mates.
4. I have been strongly hurt emotionally by love before.
5. Ive broken someones heart before and it feels terrible :(
7.I have liked someone and never had the courage to tell them
8. Im not afraid of commitment.
9. The last person i said i love you to was i think my mother or father.
10. Im in love with the most amazing man.
I would much rather have happiness than money any day. I prefer the nighttime to day time most offen. I have been skinny dipping before. I have never finished a large jawbreaker before, but i am wokring on one at he moment. I have a pet fish once for 2 days and yes i did cry when it died. Ive tried running away from home more than 12 times. The last person i called on my cell phone was my boyfriend. The last person to sleep beisde me in my bed would be Ashley. I dont like crying infront of people and can even remeber the last time i did , i prefer to cry alone becusae otherwise people jsut ask millions of questions and make it worse id rather jsut have somone put there arm around me and understand whithout asking. I would rather have two best friends that 10 acqaintances. I almost always drink milk before i go to bed. I cannot raise one eyebrow. I dislike my sheets and blankets being tucked in and i dont like sleeping with the top sheet on , i also sleep under the covers becuase im terrifed of what will get me , yeah i relize blankets arnt much protection but its better than nothing. I am a veryyy picky eater, and i eat very few meats. Right now im wearing penguin pajams pants with a hoel in the knee that i got during an intese guitar solo sliding across the floor.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
:'(
This photo is absoululty horrify and scares me everytime i see it.
" PULITZER PRIZE " winning photo taken in 1994 during the Sudan famine.
The picture depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards an United Nations food camp, located a kilometer away.
The vulture is waiting for the child to die so that it can eat it. This picture shocked the whole world. No one knows what happened to the child, including the photographer Kevin Carter who left the place as soon as the photograph was taken.
Three months later he committed suicide due to depression.
Love.
Love is the best thing that has happened to me.
I love this one boy , named cody bell. Okay so hes not just any boy, hes the most amazing one EVER!
What is love ? Is one of the most diffucult questions for mankind.
For me love was friendship set on fire. It started with an amazing friendship and bestfriend and led to an even better relationsip and boyfriend. Love gives you a feeling you just cant discribe well enough no matter how i type it or how you reead it , it will be no where close to how i feel it. Its about careing so deeply about someone and wanting to spend everymoment of your life with them and never letting go. Love is detticating your heart and soul into the person you love.
It's to be said that your heart is the size of your fist. It may physically be that size , but its deffinelty not emotionally. I once thought that i was in love with my friend Dan last year , boy was i wrongg. I really thought what i was feeling was love and it jsut may of been , just a different kind. This love , the love that i feel every second of the day , every heart beat, every pulse is l-o-v-e , it cant be said any more clearer than that. This is really true love. They say you will never forget your first love that you will always think about it even after its happend and you have moved on, i wont ever forget becuase i plan on this , my first love , being my first and only love.
Valentines day.
I used to think that it was jsut an excuse for stores to get more money, and that it was pointless. Now , well its starting to mean something to me. Yes , i still think its not really a holiday and thats its kinda dumb becase i think that you should be showing your love for everyone everyday. But im getting in the spirit of it all :) i still dislike it though.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
You cant help me,
I just sneezed , and thankfully im not oging to go tel hell :) also cant you see im a good typer today :P
I hatee my hair so much.
I also dislike when a door is closed and soeone comes in then leaves and LEAVES IT OPEN !
I wish it was summer so i could go to the beach and go swimming and tan , get none of my friends like going to the beach so well it rarely ahppens and i usally end up laying on my trampoline with the sprinkler under it, yeah lame i knoww.
The marks on my wrist are almost all gonee.
I now take five pills a day.
I hate fashion.
I love those hard candy hearts , theres also another hard thing i like but i wont speak of that ;)
I love how my boyfriend can see me at my worst and still love me.
Today i slept till 2 in the afternoon.
I wish i wasnt put down as much as i am.
Its shouldnt be called backtalking or bitching , when your standing up for yourself.
My back realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hurtsssss!
I was recently asked to prom by a friend.
How do my bobbypins always disapear ?
I really have nothing to write about at all.
My back still hurts.
I smell really good right now.
I Still sleep with a teddy bear , many of them.
If i was put in a forest and didn't know where i was and had limited things , the first thing i would die of would be being alone, i would die of this way before starvation if i only had one can of food , or beaing eaten by a bear. It would still be loneyless. My absoulutle worst fear is being alone , you have no idea how much it terrify me every moment. I live liveing in fear. Im not scared of the dark , im scared of things in the dark , liek creatures and people , mainly when my mind runs wild.
Im scared of my imagination.
I hatee my hair so much.
I also dislike when a door is closed and soeone comes in then leaves and LEAVES IT OPEN !
I wish it was summer so i could go to the beach and go swimming and tan , get none of my friends like going to the beach so well it rarely ahppens and i usally end up laying on my trampoline with the sprinkler under it, yeah lame i knoww.
The marks on my wrist are almost all gonee.
I now take five pills a day.
I hate fashion.
I love those hard candy hearts , theres also another hard thing i like but i wont speak of that ;)
I love how my boyfriend can see me at my worst and still love me.
Today i slept till 2 in the afternoon.
I wish i wasnt put down as much as i am.
Its shouldnt be called backtalking or bitching , when your standing up for yourself.
My back realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hurtsssss!
I was recently asked to prom by a friend.
How do my bobbypins always disapear ?
I really have nothing to write about at all.
My back still hurts.
I smell really good right now.
I Still sleep with a teddy bear , many of them.
If i was put in a forest and didn't know where i was and had limited things , the first thing i would die of would be being alone, i would die of this way before starvation if i only had one can of food , or beaing eaten by a bear. It would still be loneyless. My absoulutle worst fear is being alone , you have no idea how much it terrify me every moment. I live liveing in fear. Im not scared of the dark , im scared of things in the dark , liek creatures and people , mainly when my mind runs wild.
Im scared of my imagination.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Shit is happening.
Soo where to startt ??
The past few days i have been hanging out with my boyfriend and well he really likes to be touching me ( non dirty! ) like as in holding and cuddleing and well it makes me feel extremly happy, but sad. Ive observed that his family is very touchy over all like they all sit together on the couch , share things , and cuddle. This make me get a happy feeling knowing they all love eachother and can share moments but also makes me extremllyyy sad becuase my familey welll... i havnt been hugged by my mom or dad in like well forever and havnt heard i love you in well forever , i say it all the time but they ignore it , honestly i think they are afraid to say it back :( If i where to try and hug one of my parents they would suddenlyy have something exremtly important to do they didnt have a second ago, like what kind of family is this ?! When i was laying on his bed last night with him i coudnly help but want to cry , and i almost broke out into tears a few times its was pretty hard to hold it in. Its jsut all the touching and how he makes me feel loved it so amazing like ive never had anyone make me feel this way before and idk its really hard to explain , like he actaully caress and loves me and its so amazing becasue ive never really had that before. I mean my parents say they care but its not actaully shown or expressed, but this is. Im just confused after all the hate i have been giving why i suddenly am getting so much love ? Its really hard for me to understand and deal with because well i dont know how to deal with it or what to do , ive never had this before.
Last night , i got home 2 MINUTES LATE , i walk in the door take my boots of and walk into the living room , my dad demands to have my phone and that i shut it off , so i dont question it and try and turn my phone off, my phone takes like three trys to turn it off because its fagtarted but like not even 10 seconds from him asking to have my phone im all ready being called a bitch and brat and all the names in the book becasue i took 10 seconds to turn my phone off , i didnt even question him or talk back. I go upstairs crying my eyes out like mad becuase i dont know what ive done to be treated this way, only to see my mom upstairs on the computer as i walk by , she comes into my room to ask whats wrong and i reply saying that dad took my phone, my mom goes down stairs and asks him why and his rely is " BECASUE SHE WAS TWO MINUTES LATE AND SHES A FUCKING ASS BITCH " yeah thats right those exact words. My mom tells him he is being absoultly rediculous that he needs to stop sweating alll the little things and that i wasnt late at all and he shoudnlt of done that becuase i wasnt late and even if i was he cant do that. well to bad for nme he all ready had. My mom then got my phone back and well , my dad has hid the battery. i have it back now , and still havnt talked to him since last night becuase im afriad to because ever time i open my mouth i am critisized. I relly dont think he should be allowe4d to take my phone at all since i am the one who bought it and pays for it but i dont agrue it just gets me into my shit. While im rambaling on about how much I FUCKING HATE MY FATHER im actually embarrsed to even call him that.
Today i got a huge hate e-mail from an old friend saying that she is going to punch my sister head in if she dosnt stop all her facebook fights and stuff, reallyyy?!?!?! Why are you talking to me about this and not her ? deal with your own fucking problems. I cant controll what my sister does on facebook! Uhgg and why bother getting me involved , its jsut going to make this a bigger scene. lay off its facebook.
Your probaly reading this thinking that im being all dumb , because i actually cry about things , well get over yourself i cry, its what humans do.
I try my absoulute best to not bring people to my house when my family is home , becuase im afraid of them yelling at me while people are over , because they will and they have, if i do the tinyest thing wrong or out of order ill be bitched at for like 20 minutes over it and well i dont want people seeing how big of a screw up i am.
Dear life , im sorry.
The past few days i have been hanging out with my boyfriend and well he really likes to be touching me ( non dirty! ) like as in holding and cuddleing and well it makes me feel extremly happy, but sad. Ive observed that his family is very touchy over all like they all sit together on the couch , share things , and cuddle. This make me get a happy feeling knowing they all love eachother and can share moments but also makes me extremllyyy sad becuase my familey welll... i havnt been hugged by my mom or dad in like well forever and havnt heard i love you in well forever , i say it all the time but they ignore it , honestly i think they are afraid to say it back :( If i where to try and hug one of my parents they would suddenlyy have something exremtly important to do they didnt have a second ago, like what kind of family is this ?! When i was laying on his bed last night with him i coudnly help but want to cry , and i almost broke out into tears a few times its was pretty hard to hold it in. Its jsut all the touching and how he makes me feel loved it so amazing like ive never had anyone make me feel this way before and idk its really hard to explain , like he actaully caress and loves me and its so amazing becasue ive never really had that before. I mean my parents say they care but its not actaully shown or expressed, but this is. Im just confused after all the hate i have been giving why i suddenly am getting so much love ? Its really hard for me to understand and deal with because well i dont know how to deal with it or what to do , ive never had this before.
Last night , i got home 2 MINUTES LATE , i walk in the door take my boots of and walk into the living room , my dad demands to have my phone and that i shut it off , so i dont question it and try and turn my phone off, my phone takes like three trys to turn it off because its fagtarted but like not even 10 seconds from him asking to have my phone im all ready being called a bitch and brat and all the names in the book becasue i took 10 seconds to turn my phone off , i didnt even question him or talk back. I go upstairs crying my eyes out like mad becuase i dont know what ive done to be treated this way, only to see my mom upstairs on the computer as i walk by , she comes into my room to ask whats wrong and i reply saying that dad took my phone, my mom goes down stairs and asks him why and his rely is " BECASUE SHE WAS TWO MINUTES LATE AND SHES A FUCKING ASS BITCH " yeah thats right those exact words. My mom tells him he is being absoultly rediculous that he needs to stop sweating alll the little things and that i wasnt late at all and he shoudnlt of done that becuase i wasnt late and even if i was he cant do that. well to bad for nme he all ready had. My mom then got my phone back and well , my dad has hid the battery. i have it back now , and still havnt talked to him since last night becuase im afriad to because ever time i open my mouth i am critisized. I relly dont think he should be allowe4d to take my phone at all since i am the one who bought it and pays for it but i dont agrue it just gets me into my shit. While im rambaling on about how much I FUCKING HATE MY FATHER im actually embarrsed to even call him that.
Today i got a huge hate e-mail from an old friend saying that she is going to punch my sister head in if she dosnt stop all her facebook fights and stuff, reallyyy?!?!?! Why are you talking to me about this and not her ? deal with your own fucking problems. I cant controll what my sister does on facebook! Uhgg and why bother getting me involved , its jsut going to make this a bigger scene. lay off its facebook.
Your probaly reading this thinking that im being all dumb , because i actually cry about things , well get over yourself i cry, its what humans do.
I try my absoulute best to not bring people to my house when my family is home , becuase im afraid of them yelling at me while people are over , because they will and they have, if i do the tinyest thing wrong or out of order ill be bitched at for like 20 minutes over it and well i dont want people seeing how big of a screw up i am.
Dear life , im sorry.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Serious things.
So if you dont care then stop reading..
Ive been really depressed just recently , well i always have been sicne like grade nine i even take gay ass pills which i dont really take because they are ssupposed to make me happy and they actually work i just hate takeing them because i feel like they make me someone who im not. Inn grade nine i was jsut always really depressed about alot of shit and things werent the greatest for me and i always talked about how i was going to commit suiceide but the one time my mom really got me mad i accidently said it out loud and then she starting thinking i needed a ounsiler or whatever a person you talk to about this stuff but that didnt help me at all i hated it so much, telling a random person you jsut met all about yoour life in detail isnt my thing. Grade ten came along and i was sstill a bit troubled by all this but overall i was really happy bout things, and now here i am in grade eleven and well really i have all a person could ask for, my family loves me (minus all the times i get bitched at) , i have a lot of friends and they are amazing , and i have the ideal boyfriend everygirl asks for. So whats wrong ? I HAVE NO IDEA! really i dont know and it dirves me nuts knowing im depressed about things and cut myself and i dont know why i do liek there really is no reason , okay well theres like a million things wrong with my life but there nothing to do that over so wtf is wrong with me. I NEED TO BE FIXED AND FAST !
Being a girl.
Being a girl is so stressful you have to have the right clothes and wear them the right way with certian things , you hair has to look nice , if you dont wear the latest trend or the prettyest make up your automatiically ugly.
You have to go through your period once a month... okay so periods.. i got mine when i was in grade seven and they say in like half a year you should know when to expect it and it shoudl have a scheduale, lol no. That was no my case i jsut randomly got it whenever sometimes twice a month then sometimes i wouldnt get it for like 3 months , sometimes for 3 days then sometimes for 9. Yeah my body dosnt funstion right , i always had really really really really bad acne and it was gross but know its way less i still have it just not nearly as bad as i did, i need to thank my birthcontrol for that , its what has helped me an extreme amount. Girls are very emotional EVERY GIRL you see those tough girls out there but really they have feelings and cry too. Girls will cry about just pretty much everything from heartbreaks to disney movies ive experienced it all. I used to cry myself to sleep everynight because i new the next day was jsut going to be hell and repated over and over. I even fell asleep from cryinng fr 4 hours at the top of the stairs and slept their all night one time and somehow i didnt fall down the stairs which is very lucky for me. Theres no need for this anymore now that i have the kindest boyfriend in the whole i know that going to sleep every night and wakeing up everymoing is all worth it becuase i have him and somebody actually loves me.
Well i intended on writing alot more than this but by Mother is yelling at me to go to bed , even though i JUST WOKE UP AN HOUR AGO because i slept from 7-10. But good night .
Ive been really depressed just recently , well i always have been sicne like grade nine i even take gay ass pills which i dont really take because they are ssupposed to make me happy and they actually work i just hate takeing them because i feel like they make me someone who im not. Inn grade nine i was jsut always really depressed about alot of shit and things werent the greatest for me and i always talked about how i was going to commit suiceide but the one time my mom really got me mad i accidently said it out loud and then she starting thinking i needed a ounsiler or whatever a person you talk to about this stuff but that didnt help me at all i hated it so much, telling a random person you jsut met all about yoour life in detail isnt my thing. Grade ten came along and i was sstill a bit troubled by all this but overall i was really happy bout things, and now here i am in grade eleven and well really i have all a person could ask for, my family loves me (minus all the times i get bitched at) , i have a lot of friends and they are amazing , and i have the ideal boyfriend everygirl asks for. So whats wrong ? I HAVE NO IDEA! really i dont know and it dirves me nuts knowing im depressed about things and cut myself and i dont know why i do liek there really is no reason , okay well theres like a million things wrong with my life but there nothing to do that over so wtf is wrong with me. I NEED TO BE FIXED AND FAST !
Being a girl.
Being a girl is so stressful you have to have the right clothes and wear them the right way with certian things , you hair has to look nice , if you dont wear the latest trend or the prettyest make up your automatiically ugly.
You have to go through your period once a month... okay so periods.. i got mine when i was in grade seven and they say in like half a year you should know when to expect it and it shoudl have a scheduale, lol no. That was no my case i jsut randomly got it whenever sometimes twice a month then sometimes i wouldnt get it for like 3 months , sometimes for 3 days then sometimes for 9. Yeah my body dosnt funstion right , i always had really really really really bad acne and it was gross but know its way less i still have it just not nearly as bad as i did, i need to thank my birthcontrol for that , its what has helped me an extreme amount. Girls are very emotional EVERY GIRL you see those tough girls out there but really they have feelings and cry too. Girls will cry about just pretty much everything from heartbreaks to disney movies ive experienced it all. I used to cry myself to sleep everynight because i new the next day was jsut going to be hell and repated over and over. I even fell asleep from cryinng fr 4 hours at the top of the stairs and slept their all night one time and somehow i didnt fall down the stairs which is very lucky for me. Theres no need for this anymore now that i have the kindest boyfriend in the whole i know that going to sleep every night and wakeing up everymoing is all worth it becuase i have him and somebody actually loves me.
Well i intended on writing alot more than this but by Mother is yelling at me to go to bed , even though i JUST WOKE UP AN HOUR AGO because i slept from 7-10. But good night .
Monday, January 24, 2011
IDKK
Dear blog, i missed you.
My mother has notified me she will buy me shoes! OMG YAY THIS IS A MIRCALE !
I have had the hicups 5 times todayyyy!
I have a half a bagel i shoudl eat that has been sitting beside more for almost an hour.
Im wearing " big vagina pants ".
My hair and face look like extreme shit today.
I fit into my old pants again !
This morning i walked to school when it was -20 out but the windchill was -26 and you could get frostbite if you where out there for longer than 10 minutes.
All the town cops where in out school today having some kind of meeeting then they searched our school , thankfully my locker is drug free this time of year ;P
I cant wait for summer now even though i love winter.
I need to loose a lot of weight.
My back hurts EXREMLYYY HARD COREE OWWW OMGG OUCHH !
I wish i was way prettyier for my boyfriend.
My mother has notified me she will buy me shoes! OMG YAY THIS IS A MIRCALE !
I have had the hicups 5 times todayyyy!
I have a half a bagel i shoudl eat that has been sitting beside more for almost an hour.
Im wearing " big vagina pants ".
My hair and face look like extreme shit today.
I fit into my old pants again !
This morning i walked to school when it was -20 out but the windchill was -26 and you could get frostbite if you where out there for longer than 10 minutes.
All the town cops where in out school today having some kind of meeeting then they searched our school , thankfully my locker is drug free this time of year ;P
I cant wait for summer now even though i love winter.
I need to loose a lot of weight.
My back hurts EXREMLYYY HARD COREE OWWW OMGG OUCHH !
I wish i was way prettyier for my boyfriend.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Blogging my new obsession ? Yes.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW BECAUSE ITS FRIDAY AND I DONT WORK !!! PARRTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !
Sooo...
I wish i had the talent to write songs because when i listen to music and hear the lyrics they always seem to relate to my life some how and i just wish i could jsut write powerful lyrics like that.
Lately i have been much happier with my body , im not sure why becuase nothing has changed all that much i jsut feel prettyier lately and im loving this feeling and i dont want it to go away.
I miss the elemtrey school days when i had extremly close friends and we hung out EVERY single day after school and always played video games, bloody murder, cops and robbers, truth or dare and just talk i wish i new someone who still liked to do these things and would do them with me.
I LOVE THE SONG : FUCKING PERFECT BY PINK.
her's a bit of the lyrics from her song.
You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same
Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
I accidently downloaded this song a few days ago and so i listened to it to see what it was and well im glad i did becuase i love it now.
I wake up everymoring because i know that i have an amazing family dispite how much i say i hate them sometimes, school yeah thats right i said it , yes its exxtreemlyyy boring and full of work but i think its amazing that we can actually go to school and get an eductation because theres so many children who cant and ts very unfourtunate. My boyfriend of course , just knowing that someone loves me and cares about me gets me going every day. As much as i love to sleep i do like wakeing up as well becuase i hate sleeping to like 2 in the after noon or later becuase then i feel like a complete fatass who has wasted half the day allready :P
Tomorrow i have a lunch date with my wonderfull best friend im pumpeddd. Then after school i am haning out with some different close friends of mine and no matter what we do we always have a blast and end up laughing forever about some dumb thing i probs did :P and then well im not sure about later on but im sure it will be good too !
If you have ever vistied my room you would know i have alot of random stuff. Welll you could say im a bit of a hoarder but i would disagree because most of that stuff is junk that i could easily throw about. But all of the other stuff i hold on to very dearly. If you picked up any objet in my room i could easlily tell you 5 reasons why i have it and what it means to me. I have kept everystuffed animal i have recieved since i was born becuae they all mean soo much to me , i think they have feelings liek that they can think and see like i can. Like my teddy bear for instance if i see it laying on my bed weirdly i instantly think its in pain and is all sad so i have to go and fix it. I still think my animals and dolls and stuff come alive when i fall asleep becase im postivie it happens.
Ten things i wish i had right now:
1. A new bra.
2. Naturlly straight hair.
3. For my boyfriends msn to work because i miss him :'(
4. My boyfriend to be here right now.
5.The peach juice in ashleys fridge.
6. A healer becuase my body is hurting alot .
7. New running shoes lol well becuase you should see the condition mine are in right now.
8. A new binder beause the the top ring on mine dosnt connect anymore and all my papers fall out and rip.
9. A thin body.
10. Sleep.
Sooo...
I wish i had the talent to write songs because when i listen to music and hear the lyrics they always seem to relate to my life some how and i just wish i could jsut write powerful lyrics like that.
Lately i have been much happier with my body , im not sure why becuase nothing has changed all that much i jsut feel prettyier lately and im loving this feeling and i dont want it to go away.
I miss the elemtrey school days when i had extremly close friends and we hung out EVERY single day after school and always played video games, bloody murder, cops and robbers, truth or dare and just talk i wish i new someone who still liked to do these things and would do them with me.
I LOVE THE SONG : FUCKING PERFECT BY PINK.
her's a bit of the lyrics from her song.
You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same
Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
I accidently downloaded this song a few days ago and so i listened to it to see what it was and well im glad i did becuase i love it now.
I wake up everymoring because i know that i have an amazing family dispite how much i say i hate them sometimes, school yeah thats right i said it , yes its exxtreemlyyy boring and full of work but i think its amazing that we can actually go to school and get an eductation because theres so many children who cant and ts very unfourtunate. My boyfriend of course , just knowing that someone loves me and cares about me gets me going every day. As much as i love to sleep i do like wakeing up as well becuase i hate sleeping to like 2 in the after noon or later becuase then i feel like a complete fatass who has wasted half the day allready :P
Tomorrow i have a lunch date with my wonderfull best friend im pumpeddd. Then after school i am haning out with some different close friends of mine and no matter what we do we always have a blast and end up laughing forever about some dumb thing i probs did :P and then well im not sure about later on but im sure it will be good too !
If you have ever vistied my room you would know i have alot of random stuff. Welll you could say im a bit of a hoarder but i would disagree because most of that stuff is junk that i could easily throw about. But all of the other stuff i hold on to very dearly. If you picked up any objet in my room i could easlily tell you 5 reasons why i have it and what it means to me. I have kept everystuffed animal i have recieved since i was born becuae they all mean soo much to me , i think they have feelings liek that they can think and see like i can. Like my teddy bear for instance if i see it laying on my bed weirdly i instantly think its in pain and is all sad so i have to go and fix it. I still think my animals and dolls and stuff come alive when i fall asleep becase im postivie it happens.
Ten things i wish i had right now:
1. A new bra.
2. Naturlly straight hair.
3. For my boyfriends msn to work because i miss him :'(
4. My boyfriend to be here right now.
5.The peach juice in ashleys fridge.
6. A healer becuase my body is hurting alot .
7. New running shoes lol well becuase you should see the condition mine are in right now.
8. A new binder beause the the top ring on mine dosnt connect anymore and all my papers fall out and rip.
9. A thin body.
10. Sleep.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Wednesday January 19
Boyfriends.
Boyfriends are HARD! Seriously Ive never had a relationship this serious and more confusing.
Having a boyfriend that lives far away KILLS you inside.
Boyfriends are HARD! Seriously Ive never had a relationship this serious and more confusing.
Having a boyfriend that lives far away KILLS you inside.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Tuesdayss.
I really dont mind tuesdays at all :)
Today you would think i would be in a grouch mood but I AM NOT!
My mother woke me up at 7:50 !Which is 50 minutes later that i should be woken up so i had ot rush but all is well , then ists 8:45 and i step out the door and its RAINING! Like realllyyy !?!? it jsut haddd to rain today , and its not even the nice rain its the yucky misty slushy kind !Then i get to the side walk and everything is PURE ICE and puddles everywhereeeee ! So i get to school and my legs are pretty wet and gross feeling and my feet are soaked.
But still in a good mood :)
Im currently in media listening to some guys argue over star wars music and techno and is soo annoying becuase this one guy has the most annoying voise in the world and you jsut want to yell at him everytime he opens his mouth which is alllll the timeee , becuase he is always talking about buliding websites and
how cool he thinks he is but he is proably the farthest thing from it !
This computer screen is really large and i don't know how to really work this computer because i find macs confusing!
Ive mentioned this before but i need to tell you again that i have the best boyfriend in the world and well i love him sooo muchh ! He makes me feel so special and when im with him he makes me feel so safe and like nothing could hurt me or possibly go wrong. Hes the cutest guy ive seen in a very long time and well there's really no better out there. I hope that we never break up because i feel like we could have a very good life together. Hes such a sweet guy he no's how to make me feel loved and keep me happy. I once thought i loved this one guy i used to go out with once but now i realized i didn't because that was nothing comperared to how i feel now , that was nothing to this. Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. Love is me and you together :).
Today you would think i would be in a grouch mood but I AM NOT!
My mother woke me up at 7:50 !Which is 50 minutes later that i should be woken up so i had ot rush but all is well , then ists 8:45 and i step out the door and its RAINING! Like realllyyy !?!? it jsut haddd to rain today , and its not even the nice rain its the yucky misty slushy kind !Then i get to the side walk and everything is PURE ICE and puddles everywhereeeee ! So i get to school and my legs are pretty wet and gross feeling and my feet are soaked.
But still in a good mood :)
Im currently in media listening to some guys argue over star wars music and techno and is soo annoying becuase this one guy has the most annoying voise in the world and you jsut want to yell at him everytime he opens his mouth which is alllll the timeee , becuase he is always talking about buliding websites and
how cool he thinks he is but he is proably the farthest thing from it !
This computer screen is really large and i don't know how to really work this computer because i find macs confusing!
Ive mentioned this before but i need to tell you again that i have the best boyfriend in the world and well i love him sooo muchh ! He makes me feel so special and when im with him he makes me feel so safe and like nothing could hurt me or possibly go wrong. Hes the cutest guy ive seen in a very long time and well there's really no better out there. I hope that we never break up because i feel like we could have a very good life together. Hes such a sweet guy he no's how to make me feel loved and keep me happy. I once thought i loved this one guy i used to go out with once but now i realized i didn't because that was nothing comperared to how i feel now , that was nothing to this. Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. Love is me and you together :).
Monday, January 17, 2011
No lifee.
So having a blog is something i never thought i would do , but i guess you could say im full of surprises.
Ive been really depressed lately and im not to sure why which makes it even more complicating. I can't wait untill next semester because i think i will enjoy my classes better. Im drinking berry juice not that it matters to you but you know now.
My dislikes :
When big people wear really tight clothing.
When im insulted for something i cant do anything about.
The smell of margarine.
All other females on this planet.
Drama.
Food basics.
People who use people.
The neighbors annoying little stupid dogs that are really loud !
The classifications about people that are made based on what they wear, or the music they lsiten to.
Bugs.
Bwing self conscious.
Guys who just want sex.
Feeling as if my life has no direction.
Broken promises.
Never feelings good enough for him.
Watching people I care about get hurt repeatedly in unhealthy relationships
Trying to explain to someone how you are feeling, while they completely ignore you.
Really looking forward to something, and hoping so much that your dreams will come true, only to have it all completely shatter.
Finding out that what you held most dear in your life was never real to begin with.
Confusion. Not being able to understand anything, even yourself and your own feelings.
Things i like
Night time.
Music.
Swimming even thought i barly can.
Bon fires.
Camping.
The drive-in.
Cuddeling. Being held.
Lightning storms.
Scary movies.
Singing.
Hugs.
People who accept me without asking questions.
Juice.
Being able to have people i can be my self around and just have a good time.
Texting.
Boy friends that make you feel special.
Old people.
Grill Cheese.
Canada.
Sleep.
Longs walks.
Laughter.
Cute sunglasses.
Holding hands.
Smoothies <3
Ive been really depressed lately and im not to sure why which makes it even more complicating. I can't wait untill next semester because i think i will enjoy my classes better. Im drinking berry juice not that it matters to you but you know now.
My dislikes :
When big people wear really tight clothing.
When im insulted for something i cant do anything about.
The smell of margarine.
All other females on this planet.
Drama.
Food basics.
People who use people.
The neighbors annoying little stupid dogs that are really loud !
The classifications about people that are made based on what they wear, or the music they lsiten to.
Bugs.
Bwing self conscious.
Guys who just want sex.
Feeling as if my life has no direction.
Broken promises.
Never feelings good enough for him.
Watching people I care about get hurt repeatedly in unhealthy relationships
Trying to explain to someone how you are feeling, while they completely ignore you.
Really looking forward to something, and hoping so much that your dreams will come true, only to have it all completely shatter.
Finding out that what you held most dear in your life was never real to begin with.
Confusion. Not being able to understand anything, even yourself and your own feelings.
Things i like
Night time.
Music.
Swimming even thought i barly can.
Bon fires.
Camping.
The drive-in.
Cuddeling. Being held.
Lightning storms.
Scary movies.
Singing.
Hugs.
People who accept me without asking questions.
Juice.
Being able to have people i can be my self around and just have a good time.
Texting.
Boy friends that make you feel special.
Old people.
Grill Cheese.
Canada.
Sleep.
Longs walks.
Laughter.
Cute sunglasses.
Holding hands.
Smoothies <3
Thursday, January 13, 2011
My blabber mouth,
So i have noticed that alooottt of people are getting blogs and not that i need to fit in i simply think its a good idea, although i already have one for media class this one will be different.
Im not to sure what to share with you readers out there so how about you read my blabbers , carry on if you really are that bored.
So recently i have been really sick and in pain i even went to the emerge on Thursday but you don't need to know all about it. Exams are coming up *sigh* which means ill have to start studying eventually but that never really happens till the night before. I also have a lot of projects due like a 5+ page essay due in native studies which i haven't started and a u huge movie project due in media, worst part is there are both due on the same day. School isn't so bad its jsut the waking up early and having to get ready part that is the hassel.
I recently learned that i like everything bagels. My parents just got back from Jamaica , when do they go back now?! I would much appreciate if they left the country again. I have a best friend named Ferb i shall keep her real name a secret , i love her so much ! We have the most fun times together and always laugh so for long over the dumbest things and its amazing, i can tell her everything and i can trust her with my life. I also have a boyfriend i know surprise surprise.. hes the best boyfriend you could get don't even try and compete with him, because you will lose the second you try, i love him so much its crazy.
Im sooo keeeenn to go to New Jersey this summer i can't waitt its going to be amazingg! I also enjooy camping its one of my favourite things to do in the summer, i love the outdoors and what nature brings us (minus all of the misqitos).
If you just read this i am very sincerely sorry you have no life.
Im not to sure what to share with you readers out there so how about you read my blabbers , carry on if you really are that bored.
So recently i have been really sick and in pain i even went to the emerge on Thursday but you don't need to know all about it. Exams are coming up *sigh* which means ill have to start studying eventually but that never really happens till the night before. I also have a lot of projects due like a 5+ page essay due in native studies which i haven't started and a u huge movie project due in media, worst part is there are both due on the same day. School isn't so bad its jsut the waking up early and having to get ready part that is the hassel.
I recently learned that i like everything bagels. My parents just got back from Jamaica , when do they go back now?! I would much appreciate if they left the country again. I have a best friend named Ferb i shall keep her real name a secret , i love her so much ! We have the most fun times together and always laugh so for long over the dumbest things and its amazing, i can tell her everything and i can trust her with my life. I also have a boyfriend i know surprise surprise.. hes the best boyfriend you could get don't even try and compete with him, because you will lose the second you try, i love him so much its crazy.
Im sooo keeeenn to go to New Jersey this summer i can't waitt its going to be amazingg! I also enjooy camping its one of my favourite things to do in the summer, i love the outdoors and what nature brings us (minus all of the misqitos).
If you just read this i am very sincerely sorry you have no life.
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