Serious things.

So if you dont care then stop reading..

Ive been really depressed just recently , well i always have been sicne like grade nine i even take gay ass pills which i dont really take because they are ssupposed to make me happy and they actually work i just hate takeing them because i feel like they make me someone who im not. Inn grade nine i was jsut always really depressed about alot of shit and things werent the greatest for me and i always talked about how i was going to commit suiceide but the one time my mom really got me mad i accidently said it out loud and then she starting thinking i needed a ounsiler or whatever a person you talk to about this stuff but that didnt help me at all i hated it so much, telling a random person you jsut met all about yoour life in detail isnt my thing. Grade ten came along and i was sstill a bit troubled by all this but overall i was really happy bout things, and now here i am in grade eleven and well really i have all a person could ask for, my family loves me (minus all the times i get bitched at) , i have a lot of friends and they are amazing , and i have the ideal boyfriend everygirl asks for. So whats wrong ?  I HAVE NO IDEA!  really i dont know and it dirves me nuts knowing im depressed about things and cut myself and i dont know why i do liek there really is no reason , okay well theres like a million things wrong with my life but there nothing to do that over so wtf is wrong with me.   I NEED TO BE FIXED AND FAST !

Being a girl.

Being a girl is so stressful you have to have the right clothes and wear them the right way with certian things , you hair has to look nice , if you dont wear the latest trend or the prettyest make up your automatiically ugly.
You have to go through your period once a month... okay so periods.. i got mine when i was in grade seven and they say in like half a year you should know when to expect it and it shoudl have a scheduale, lol no. That was no my case i jsut randomly got it whenever sometimes twice a month then sometimes i wouldnt get it for like 3 months , sometimes for 3 days then sometimes for 9. Yeah my body dosnt funstion right , i always had really really really really bad acne and it was gross but know its way less i still have it just not nearly as bad as i did, i need to thank my birthcontrol for that , its what has helped me an extreme amount. Girls are very emotional  EVERY GIRL you see those tough girls out there but really they have feelings and cry too. Girls will cry about just pretty  much everything from heartbreaks to disney movies ive experienced it all. I used to cry myself to sleep everynight because i new the next day was jsut going to be hell and repated over and over.  I even fell asleep from cryinng fr 4 hours at the top of the stairs and slept their all night one time and somehow i didnt fall down the stairs which is very lucky for me.  Theres no need for this anymore now that i have the kindest boyfriend in the whole i know that going to sleep every night and wakeing up everymoing is all worth it becuase i have him and somebody actually loves me.

Well i intended on writing alot more than this but by Mother is yelling at me to go to bed , even though i  JUST WOKE UP AN HOUR AGO  because i slept from 7-10.  But good night .